Highschool Sweethearts
The soft night air was still and soft, unwavering nor moving as it rested upon the Earth. The city was asleeep and dreaming of what the day had in store for it tomorrow. I was not asleep. My eyes watched the fan above me circle around and around constantly and without change. I could remember the feeling of it, the weight it carried on my heart when I woke back into the real world. Those dream that you have that are so wonderful and joyful are actually the most painful. I could not remember what the dream was but knew I wanted to return there, though couldn't because it would be morning soon and my life at school was waiting for me.
It was a more quiet day today, no one cared to speak too much for the mood that the weather had forced us into. Every direction the rain was pouring down onto the ground with water running off of roofs and structures as though they were apart of a river or creek. St. Vincent’s High School was as large a school as they came, over two thousand students and other members of the community congregated here, everyone still doing their education was required to sign themselves into felt like a workers chart to try and make sure no one wagged their lessons. This system of course having many flaws that were exploited often. The number of teachers were greatly under those of the students, too many to enforce the kinds of strict rules most had. Here the policy was ‘learn if you want to learn, leave if you want to leave’, the students given their own decisions to make rather than made for them which worked well for everyone.
Ordinary we were sat on an area of bright green grass but with the rain my group instead congregated under the hall roof in a circle on the concrete. There were a lot of us, constant laughter coming from everyone as we shared jokes and opinions, chat about rumours and even made a few of our own. I always felt that while we were in the group most eyes were on me, as though when the opportunity for a hearty joke came along it was my duty to make it. The same for the occasional fight that would rarely happen, the person beside me would grab my arm as if to say ‘do something before they hurt someone’. Some would call it popularity whilst I just considered it as being friendly and charismatic, to be popular it meant you had to consider others as unpopular. I wasn’t on the football or basketball team wearing a jacket or blazer, I didn’t belittle anyone and always tried to be the voice of reason. It was getting very close to my last year of school, my exams getting closer and studying was more necessary than ever.
We all jumped as the bell rang, not familiar with it being so close to our ears let alone right above us. “That’s it for me” I announced, standing up with everyone else.
“What do we have?” “Social Studies” another person remarked met with a roaring of disappointment.
“Where’s you SS room?” someone asked me as we began walking towards the lecture buildings. The SS title was a bit of a joke since one of the social studies teachers was in fact German and more loud than a rooster on fire.
“I don’t have it. This is my free” I stated smiling to them as we walked. Breaking off from the group and heading down towards the library, receiving a small call of ‘see ya later’s ‘ from everyone before they disappeared into their classrooms.
It occurred to me that I’d never spent a free period in the library before as I entered and noticed the small amount of people around. My jumper was slightly wet as I walked in, appreciating the dry and musky feel of being out of the rain. This building always reminded me of sterility, a place so clean that it has no smell, much like a hospital; only today it was warm and stuffier for the people who’d come in during their lunch to escape from the wet weather. There were areas on the carpet that were darker and wetert than most, showing the common paths that people took between tables and desks.
I gave the librarian a smile and a nod as I came in, to which she returned back to me. In a section of the library was a small group of tables linked together and some people I recognized sharing study notes with one another, looking over and waving for me to join them. I waved back and smiled, but didn’t join them, wanting some privacy and alone time just to be with my own thoughts. I moved up the to the other end of the library, following the book shelves that ran along the windows. Outside of them, past the running water was an amazing view, it showed the jetty and the river that the library was build beside, a train bridge connecting our side of the city with the other which was home to a number of industrial buildings which had tall smoking pipes of exhaust. The view wasn't pretty or breathtaking but more just for the shear size of it all.
I came to a spot in which one of the book shelves ran parallel to the other which required me to walk around it to see what was on the other side. A small collection of individual desks and chairs, most desks with book ontop of them for the librarian to pack away at the end of every day. Against one of the large windows was a desk facing out to the river, sitting there was a small person. From the back I could see she had short black hair that just reached her shoulders and a small frame, wearing a baggy jumper not too different from mine but white instead of black. I frowned as I tried to think who they were, I’d always thought of myself remembering everyone from my year and the one below it but she wasn’t ringing any bells yet. I grabbed a book from the parallel bookshelf which read ‘The Failed theory of Physics; The Aether’ before pulling out a chair at a desk near the stranger's. I shuffled on my seat a little and opened up the book. I heard the stranger speaking to herself, whispering the words as she read them before speaking to me in a soft voice.
“Hey, do you know where that book is about MacBeth and how it’s a lot different in modern media?’’. I looked up to her to see she was still looking down at her book as she spoke, a pen in hand and tapping on her desk.
“Sorry, Shakespeare isn’t my thing” I replied. She turned around to face me, obviously a little surprised by my unfamiliar voice, probably expecting someone else. I noticed that she was of Asian descent with a rather slim face and slightly wide eyes for her ethnic background.
“Oh” she stated, her lips slightly thin and fingernails coloured red on one hand and blue the other. “Thanks anyway” she smiled back to me, revealing her bright white teeth before turning back to her desk and burying herself back into her book from embarassement.
The small study area became quieter now as we both read, the stranger writing notes and memos down but I hadn’t heard her whisper as she read anymore, as though she was trying to keep herself quiet which was probably for my sake. It wasn’t long before I became immersed in my study, revising my knowledge of previously thought true theories of the physical universe.
“Thank god, I thought you’d be hear” came a loud voice, a little too loud for a library. Before I could look up she’d grabbed a chair and had pulled herself to my desk along the side so our legs crossed. “I really need to talk to you”. Jackie was slightly taller than most girls her age, always wearing tight jeans or the type of fashion shirt that was in the magazines, spending money on the newest phones available which meant she had more than a few lying around. Every month her hair would change, even once becoming a bright orange colour; this month she was a dark blonde.
“What’s up?” I asked with an interestEd tone, though inside I just wanted to get back to my studying. Jackie was about to begin chatting when her eyes shot from me to my study partner, who I could tell was wondering who else had invaded her private studying session. Jackie’s expression was stern and hard as she looked to the stranger, waiting a moment before she’d return back to her desk before she would face me again.
“It’s about Damien” she stated, getting more comfortable in her seat. Jackie was normal for the most part, in that she was often kind to others and eager to hear about other's problems, but I knew her a little better than that. Jackie knew how to play the passive aggressive game, being something of a contender for the sport. Whenever she’d have a falling out with someone, which mostly occurred because of boyfriend matters, she would spread a small rumour which would grow to something bigger and before they knew it everyone hated them. Jackie could ruin someone without even having to see or talk to them. Though all in all she wasn’t a horrible person, her nice acts were only to cover up her darker side but like everyone she was vulnerable. Her current boyfriend apparently cheating on her by kissing one of her friends, and when something like this happened she’d come to me. It was all I could do to give her the occasional metaphor and reassure her that it’ll work out. It was often up to me to defuse her situations so she wouldn't hurt someone else or herself.
“You’re probably right, as always” she stated, her eyes damp and red but holding her tears back, she was smiling to me with my hand holding hers to show that I cared. “You know me better than anyone, maybe one day we’ll get married” she stated with a tearful laugh.
“You never know” I replied giving her a grin. Jackie leaned forward and gave my cheeks a quick kiss before standing up.
“You need to shave”. Her eyes focused on my study partner for a moment before she turned to leave, rubbing her eyes as she left. I felt relieved as she left, holding my hands on the top of my head and exhaling loudly with my eyes shut. I wished people wouldn’t come to me with their troubles. It was a good feeling to help someone with their emotions and situations but it was a long and straining process. I recalled the time Jackie had run from home to hide at my house, her uncle had been taking care of her whilst her parents were overseas. She said she feared for her life but I could tell she was exaggerating. After a few nights he arrived and tried to force Jackie back home, taking a few swings at me in his attemptis to do so. I often thought of it as one of my prouder moments when I dropped Jackie’s uncle with a blow to the front, putting him down long enough to talk him into leaving her alone and she that she was going to stay with me for a while.
I was lost in this thought when the bell rang, snapping my eyes open just in time to see the stranger’s white jumper disappear into the bookshelf corridors, having packed up a few minutes before the bell had rung. I grumbled a few curses as I moved out of the library and knew that to get to both my locker and my classroom without being late would be impossible.
I was covered in rain by the time I got to the front door, my hoodie covering my head as I fumbled the door open and threw the keys onto the doorside table. “Mum? Dad?” I called out, not expecting an answer as I removed my jumper to hang on a hook beside the umbrellas and other jackets. I didn’t need to wait and see if there was a reply from anyone, already I knew there was no one home.
“I’m going to need to go shopping” I announced to the fridge as I poked my head inside it, shutting the door and wondering what there was to eat. My stomach gave the usual after school gurgle, meaning that if I didn’t find something soon then I’d have to order take out.
“Seven fifty”. He was covered in a black poncho, as was the pizza box he was delivering while the delivery car door remained open. The rain had continued since early this morning and didn’t show signs of stopping.
“Here you are, keep the change as a thank you for serving cheap pizzas and working in the rain at the same time” I announced loudly to get over the sound of the weather. He smiling and nodded to me before running back to his car and speeding off. The smell of cooked meat and doughy pizza crust filled my nose as I carried it inside, falling down on the couch and flipping the television on. “You look good” I complimented the pizza as I opened up the box, hearing the sounds of studio laughter as a sitcom came to life. I was about to sink into the first slice when I remembered to get a drink.
On the dinner table was a framed picture of a couple, both with black hair and a wide smile as they held a small child in hand. The father was Caucasian whilst the mother had only a slight Italian look about her. My fingers brushed over the glass, wiping a bit of the dust off as I watched the still photo for a long while, forgetting about my pizza and the rehearsed laughter coming from the television.
It was dark and drizzly at school again with thunder now rumbling behind the clouds overhead. We were all together during the last part of lunch, talking and laughing with each other. Jackie telling the story of how she’d broken up with Damien during the night, right in front of a group of his friends.
“…and so now they call him ‘tiny’ “ Jackie announced, everyone roaring with laughter as she made her pinkie finger move like a worm.
“You are so mean!” Jackie’s friend Karlina announced while still laughing. The belly’s loud siren signalling that it was time to head back to class. “What do we have?” she yelled to everyone as we packed up our gear.
“Double Social Science” I announced. Friday’s were my favourite day not only because it was the beginning of the weekend but also that before it started I had two free periods in succession. Everyone branched off in their own directions, I was walking under the few lengths of shelter from the rain, taking twice as long to get to the library than it normally would were it not for the weather.
“Oi!” announced a voice as they jumped up behind me after a short bolt and barged into my shoulder. “Where you heading?” Jackie asked loudly, smiling more than someone going through a break up should.
“Free period, it’s raining so I’m heading to the library”, I replied, returning her smile and happy to see she was feeling better from yesterday. “Want to come study with me?” I asked, we both partook in Physics which was considered the hardest course and Jackie was even a little better than me at it.
“No thanks, actually I was thinking that we might wag off for the rest of today, I was thinking of seeing a movie with friends if you want to come along? Maybe afterwards we could just sit and chat about things?”
I tilted my head from side to side, the offer was tempting. “Thanks, but I really need to study. We can’t all be brainiacs like you”.
“Come on” Jackie pouted, giving me a puppy dog look before leaning in and kissing me on the cheek and turning to the other direction. “Maybe on the weekend?”
“Sounds good” I called to her before she turned away in a skip and headed to the gates.
The library was damp and humid again, the blue carpet wet from the rain filled shoes that’d walked atop of it. I wondered to the back of the library again, making my way along the long shelves. Coming in the opposite direction were a small group of people, two girls and a guy. The guy was very tall to a noticeable level and the girls had very slight acne, seemed to be watching me as we drew closer.
“Hi” one of them greeted with a large smile, her arm brushing against mine.
“Hello” I greeted back with a smirk. Getting further from them as we walked, I cranked my head a little to watch them. Both the girls had been watching me as well, gasping as they realised I’d caught them looking at me me, facing forward quickly and continued walking.
It took something of a while to exit the constant rows of literature and to enter the secluded studying area again, finding that I was on my own this time. My fingers flipped through the rows of books before I found one I could study from, placing it down on the desk and taking a notepad from my pocket and a pen that I could use to write down notes with. There were three desks that faced the river, I chose the third on the right so I was in the utmost corner of the entire library. It felt like being a complete fit as the corner piece of a puzzle.
My pen scribbled on my notepad slowly as I drew a pie graph of the amount of hydrogen in our Sun compared to the other elements. Behind me came light footsteps before a book whacked loudly on the desk adjacent mine, making my head jump slightly in reaction.
“Oh, sorry” came a soft voice. Looking over my side I saw my study partnert again, wearing the same white jumper as yesterday with jeans underneath. “Didn’t mean to disturb you” she stated smiling a little nervously with her hands fumbling with each other in front of her waist.
“No it’s fine”. Making another smile to her and wondering if one day my smile muscle might snap and I’d be stuck that way. “Shakespeare?”
“What?” she asked still standing before her desk, not yet sitting down.
“It’s a heavy book. Makes me wonder if it’s Shakespeare” I remarked, pointing my pen to the book she’s thrown down.
“Oh yeah, well Shakespeare and a few other authors” she stated still smiling at me, suddenly deciding she’d grinned for too long and moving to sit down at her desk before getting stuck into her book.
Outside the weather continued to pour down heavily, more lightning crashing down outside and causing us to jump slightly. At times I thought I could feel her eyes looking to me from the sides, though tried not to think about it and get back into the studing. The bell for the end of fifth period rang, giving me a moment to relax. I didn’t have to go anywhere, but knew my mind was pretty much shot after a full week’s work and I couldn’t fit any knew information in. I leaned back on my chair, my feet against my desk to anchor me as I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the rain coming from all around. Beside me I could hear my study partner getting up from her seat and shuffling around on her feet before drawing back into her desk. Curiously I opened my eyes, seeing that she’d removed her white jumper and had a tight black shirt on underneath.
My chair fell forward and I gave a sigh, pondering whether to return to work or have a small sleep somewhere secluded. Before I could decide a monstrous crashing of lightning started. Seven bolts in fast sequence pummelled the ground far across the river, shaking the ground and almost deafening everyone. When it stopped everything was dark, excepting the light coming from the grey clouds outside, every fluorescent bulb in the building had apparently blown. I stood and looked towards the centre of the library inbetween the small space above each row of books, the sounds of moaning as people lost all their work on the computers.
“Bugger” I announced sitting back in my chair.
“Yeah, look there’s smoke” the stranger announced pointing outwards. In the dull grey light most of her body was covered in shadow and darkness. I looked out the window and saw the dark thin stream of smoke emulating from where the lightning hit in the industrial district.
“Damn, I guess I can’t study anymore” I stated sarcastically and slapping my hand on the desk. She gave e a small laugh.
“Yeah, damn you electricity. Urg!” she claimed shaking her fist at the ceiling and giving me a grin. “I’m studying physics” I announced reaching my hand forward.
“I’m studying Literature. My name‘s Ling” she announced shaking my hand, I instantly recognised how soft and small her hand was to mine. “Do I have to kiss you on the cheek?” she asked with a small laugh. I frowned and wondered what she meant by that. “I mean, your friend kissed you on the cheek I thought I’d…” she stated getting a small blush in her cheeks, barely noticeable in the now dark library.
“Oh no you don’t have to do that, I don’t give those to everyone” I stated giving her a reassuring smile, trying to call attention away from the fact that she could only have noticed the kiss if she was watching Jackie and me chatting yesterday.
There was a small moment of silence as we looked at the stream of smoke, the lights remaining dead and a siren bellowing as it raced past the school. “Hope no one’s hurt”.
“Yeah, me too” she replied, her hands folded together and resting under her chin with elbows on the desk. “What’s….what’s physics like?”
I gave a small hum noise as I thought of a way to answer that. “Physics is trying to understand how the universe works…while balancing and egg on your nose and juggling” I stated implying upon the difficulty of the topic. “What’s Literature like?”
“It’s like trying to understand how the mind and heart works when people pour theirs onto a piece of paper…while cooking spaghetti and playing hacky sack”. Ling had a beautiful smile. “I think yours is harder”.
“Yeah, it would be harder if I didn’t know how to juggle already though”. Somewhere outside the bell rang, only in three short bursts. I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant other than ‘the powers out, everyone go home!’.
“I think I’ve earned myself a beer” I sighed, cracking a few of my fingers together as I stretched in the small chair.
“Do you drink?” she asked, standing up from her desk and begining to pack up.
“Only on the weekend or on Fridays” I remarked, knowing that most people turn into alcoholics on their eighteenth birthday. “…and Mondays…Tuesdays….Wednesday….Thursday can be fun also”. Ling smiled as I spoke, looking at her books while she packed. “Damnit”.
“What?” she asked poking her head back up.
“Nothing, I just need to go shopping and had forgotten about it. Probably won’t get home till later tonight” I stated a little annoyed at myself for getting excited to be finished for today. “I’d better get going, see you next time” I stated moving out of the study area and through the shelves to the library exit
“Oh ok. Till next time”.
“Damnit” I yelled, my hands deep in my jumper and jean pockets as I felt around inside. I was standing before my car’s driver side door in the rain with my hair dripping wet. My car was a four door and a dark grey colour, though since I was rather tall I’d always need to pull myself down just to get inside.
“Sup?” yelled Thomas who was opening his ute a few spaces over from me. Despite how wet it was Thomas’ hair was always upright, never waving or even moving less he wore a cap.
“Keys! I’ve lost my keys!” I yelled pulling my pockets inside out to show him how empty they were.
“Damn, you want a lift?”
“No, I’ll have to find them inside, I’m not leaving my car here all weekend” I yelled back to him, the rain felt heavier and colder now. “Thanks anyway”. Thomas gave me a ‘good luck’ wave before driving off.
I gave my car's wheel a kick in anger before deciding to head back into the school grounds to try and find my keys. My clothes were completely soaked through, I didn’t worry about hurrying through the rain since there was no way I could get any wetter. I walked with my head down and hands in my jumper’s front pockets, just grateful I’d left my phone in my locker so it wasn't drenched like everything else.
Right before me the sound of footsteps on asphalt was heard, I looked up to see Ling standing before me. She was dry by quickly getting wet and holding my keys in her hand and a few books in the other wrapped in a plastic bag to keep dry. She held onto my keys for a moment, perhaps thinking of something ironic to say, but saying nothing till she threw them to me.
“In the library, you left them…” she stated with a shrug, her hair beginning to run.
“You’re a life saver” I yelled happily, running my hands through my short hair to clear my view. I moved forward quickly to give her a brief kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, now get under cover before you catch something” I announced, still trying to speak over the noise of the rain.
Ling blushed a little and nodded as we both turned away. “Hey” she called back. “Do you want me to come with you? If we both shop it’ll take half the time”. I looked at her as she suggested the strange offer, she stood still in the rain as she spoke and continued to soak in the streams of water running over her jumper like a sponge.
“Yeah, come on. Quick” I waved for her to follow me as I jogged us down to the car, unlocking it as quick as possible before dropping into the driver’s seat. Ling burst into the passenger's seat, falling into the small space and dripping water off of her nose and chin. “I’ve got to take this off” I stated, pulling away my black drenched jumper and throwing it in the back, my white shirt underneath almost completely transparent and very cold.
The drive over there was rather silent, I thanks Ling for offering to help and she just nodded silently, looking at the other cars and pedestrians as I drove us further into the city. The supermarkets were slightly crowded as we walked in, every checkout had a line behind it. Ling pulled out a trolley and brought it over. “What…what do you need?” she asked, her trolley being nudged out of the way by a grumpy looking man with dark grey facial hair.
“Uh, well just the necessities like food, drinks, frozen stuff, beer and maybe some ice cream and some romantic movies for the weekend” I joked, moving forward with Ling and entering the fruit section. Ever time I went shopping I’d go through the same routine of buying a bunch of frozen meals and soft drink with cereal and fruits then half an hour of waiting in line. Instead Ling took me down all of the isles at a time, at first suggesting the occasional meal like pasta dishes and tacos, till soon she was ordering me to get certain and exotic things like spices and all kinds of sauces.. I insisted upon her that I couldn’t cook honey soy chicken with rice but she promised to write down the instructions for me. Apparently Ling loved to cook and was the chef of her family, mostly cooking Asian or other foreign foods by stating that the native recipes here are ‘too easy’.
Coming to the other sections of the store Ling suggested other things as well, including a pair of swimmers that she held against her waist and pretend modelled for me, pouting her lips and bending her hips. I made a box with my fingers and pretended to snap pictures of her. By the time we’d reached the checkout there was only one register open that had apparently been waiting for us, coming as a shock to me as outside it was completely dark.
“Watch out” Ling yelled to me, pointing to the runaway trolley. Unpacking groceries in the pouring rain was incredibly difficult, especially since the car was no where near a helpful street lamp. I ran after the trolley, grabbing it and skidding for a few metres before stopping. I laughed as I pushed it back up to the car.
“Not much left now, come on quickly!” I yelled while grabbing two bags.
“Oh my god!” Ling screamed happily, grabbing the last bag and placing it in the car as I did. “The Trolley!” she turned around and bumped her head on the open bonnet boot.
“You alright?” I asked moving to catch her incase she fell. She nodded her response and we both looked in time to see our trolley smash into a curb and tip on it’s side just before the highway.
“Sorry”.
“About what?” I asked as I drove, windshield wipers on fully as I we headed through the storm towards Ling’s house.
“I thought me helping would take less time, not more” she stated pouting happily. I laughed at her, patting her shoulder with one hand before returning it to the wheel. “Yeah, but with everything I’ve gotten I won’t need to shop for months”.
“Oh, this is it” she stated gesturing to a house on the right. I had to slow down quickly to stop from going past the driveway, pulling in alongside the house. It was a small one story home with all of the lights on and a few shadows silhouetting the curtains.
“Thanks for all your help, god knows that I need more substantial foods in my shopping. You’ll have to write down some of those recipes you were telling me about”. I stated softly, the radio had been turned on and was playing a slow song just low enough to be heard over the rain.
“Of course, besides your parents will probably know how to cook most of this stuff anyway” she stated while unbuckling her seatbelt, noticing the sudden change in my expression as she spoke. I turned myself to look forward and my hands grinding over the wheel.
“My parents are dead”. My voice was lower now, I didn’t look straight into Ling’s eyes but at my gear stick instead.
“I’m…..I’m so sorry” she replied in a whisper, feeling horrid for bringing the matter up. I was about to tell her that it was ok when the radio hit our ears. The song was sung by a man playing a guitar; telling of how when life gets you down and makes you feel empty there should be someone beside you that you can hold close. With that Ling’s hand reached over and grabbed mine, forcing our eyes to meet before leaning forward to meet one another. Between the rain and our wet hair, her lips wet and soft, as I imagines mine were too whilst we kissed. My ears burned out the sound of the storm and the rumbling engine to listen only to our lips touching and the song singing us through it.
As we broke away Ling smiled and blushed deeply, combing her hair back with her hands and looking down at her feet. “Thank you”. With that she opened up the car door and stepped out into the rain, slamming it shut behind her as she ran across the front of the car’s headlights and to her front door. I drove away as she knocked on the door and waited for a response. My heart was beating faster now as I thought of our kiss and pondered if a different song had been playing then we may not have.
“Mum, Dad I’ve got the shopping” I yelled while walking in through the door with four bags before setting them down and running for the next load. It took a good hour to unpack everything, finally finishing the day up and just wanting to sleep. I resigned with a few yoghurts and a drink before passing out on the bed.
The weekend went by rather fast, waking up late in the morning and watching the music channels whilst I jogged on a treadmill. Overnight the rain continued, thunder and lightning constantly rocking the ground while the rain pounded streets and roofs. The only thing there was to do was watch movies, then study then watch some more tv.
Monday morning I woke up from a different dream. The feeling was the same but upon waking up I wasn't thinking about returning but rather considering the possibility of meeting up with Ling again. The dream was probably about her though my mind wouldn't allow me to remember it.
The way to school was harsh, all of the roads had about an inch of water over them whilst others were completely blocked off. I was almost about to turn back home when I'd made it there.
Normal Schooling Schedule has been cancelled due to flash flooding. You may stay upon the school grounds but no lessons will be held; read the laminated paper signs at every entrance to the school. I told myself that if I stayed here today I could study better than at home, particularly in the library where there were more books at my disposal. Of course my biggest reason was that I hoped to meet Ling there, if she’d also decided to turn up today.
The library appeared to be completely deserted today, even today’s librarian was away or hiding somewhere. Walking up towards the study space I wondered what I going to say after yesterday, I could see Ling through the gaps in the shelves as I got closer.
“Hey” she greeted softly looking up from one of the desks with no books in front of her. Jackie had been waiting here for me, wearing daggy clothes and not as made up as she normally appeared.
“Hey Jackie, is something wrong?” I asked, the fact she had no mascara on told me that there was at least something different about her today. Over her usually tight shirt was a thick jacket which hid the body she happily flaunted most days.
“Nothing, well nothing really” she remarked as I sat down beside her, her voice at a more natural tone than usual. “I was just thinking about something”.
“What?” I asked leaning on the desk with my forearms. She didn’t answer straight away, just watched me for a moment before quickly pushing her lips forward and kissing me. Her breathing was shallow as we made out as though she were nervous to be doing this with me, my eyes open as we connected. I was hesitant but eventually gave in to her advance, kissing her plump soft lips with my eyes finally shutting and enjoying the feel. It took a while until we broke off, Jackie’s eyes looking over my body to try and determine my response to the sudden interest in me.
“I…” I started, noticing the sudden movement behind Jackie. Someone was walking away from the two of us rather quickly, probably having watched us kissed. The mistery person was wearing a white jumper and had short black hair. Jackie turned around to see who I was looking at, slightly confused at to why I was caring that this person saw us kissing. Jackie’s hand cupped on mine as she spoke, her fingers rubbing over each on of mine individually.
“We’ve known each other forever, it’s just taken me too long to realise that you care about me more than anyone else ever has” her eyes were slightly wet as she said this, smiling to me and feeling comfortable together.. “I’ve always thought that I should be with someone who cares for me as much as you do. It just never occurred to me that you’re the only one who could do that”. Jackie leaned forward for another kiss, my mind spinning to whether I should stay with her or chase after Ling.
I’d known Jackie for a very long time, we went through Primary School, we even tried to practice kissing each other, though I chickened out and didn’t meet her where I’d promised. I’d often entertained the thought of being with her, nothing too serious but just a passing fancy, there was always a good reason not to go forward with each other, but I couldn’t find one now.
There was little I could say to Jackie other than that I had to think about us, leaving the library to find a deserted classroom. I walked into the tiny room and threw my backpack down. The classroom was only small with rows of deserted desks and chairs and thankfully a comfortable carpet I could lay down on, my backpack as my pillow to watch the fan overhead making it’s circles around and around till I was hypnotized into a light sleep. The rest of day went by very slowly as I tried to study, my mind trying to concentrate on the book before me but instead always finding myself thinking of Jackie and Ling, wishing I could just forget about everything except my work, I remained in the small deserted class room until it was well past the afternoon with the Sun beginning to disappear.
My head was straining to remember, it was like I was trying to remember the dreams I’ve been having. My mind blocking the information to protect me. “524.…something” I stated to myself, frustrated that I couldn’t remember. I was sat on the couch with my phone book and mobile phone in my lap. The address was on the tip of my tongue, just barely out of reach, stored within my brain somewhere that I couldn’t reach. My fingers clicked loudly as I realized finally. ‘B&L Fraser- 524 Winter St’ read the address in the phone book, followed by the phone number.
Tapping the number into my phone and listening to the dailing tone, outside a brief flash of light illuminated everything and making the phone fuzz for a brief moment. Waiting for the dail tone to stop was slightly nerve racking.
“Hello?” asked a distinctively Asian male voice.
“Hi, is Ling there?” I asked. Whenever I spoke to someone I would smile, even if it was over the phone. I was told from my parents years ago that people are more comfortable around you if they can see and hear the kindness in your voice
“Where are you calling from?”.
“Um, from home” I remarked laughing quickly. “I’m a friend of hers from school”.
“Oh”. He sounded slightly surprised by this but placed the phone down before leaving. Somewhere past the microphone I could hear voices, someone asking who was on the phone and him remarking that it was a boy looking for them. A few moments of silence before the phone was picked up again.
“Hey” Ling greeted.
“Hey, it’s me” I stated with an soft voice. voice.
“Hold on, I’m cooking right now. Give me a few minutes” she spoke when the phone was set back down again. I was relieved that I’d gotten the right number, closing the phone book and walking upstairs with the phone pressed against my ear before moving into my bedroom and falling on my bed. Through the phone came the sound of people moving around on the other end, talking as the short sound of steam hissing as they cooked whatever dinner they were having.
Before too long Ling picked up the phone from somewhere else in the house. “Hang up the phone mum…I know you’re there”. I chuckled as the phone was hung up on the other end, leaving just Ling in her room to chat with me in silence.
“School was shut today, did you turn up?” I started, asking slowly and watching the occasional lightning flash brighten up my room.
“Yeah, I was there”.
“In the library?”
“…Yeah”. Her voice dropped as she spoke, her hands shuffling with the phone and making a slight crackling noise. How could I proceed at this point? We weren’t a couple or even together, but kissing Jackie made everything much more complicated. Ling must feel like I’m toying with her.
“I was waiting for you, looking forward to cooking those recipes we talked about”. There was a silence for a while on her end and a small sniffle. “I’m sorry about what happened with me...and Jackie”.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“Kissing her was unexpected”.
“It’s your life, you can do whatever you want with it”. Ling rubbed her nose against the palm of her hand and sniffled again.
“No, it wasn’t right of me to kiss you and then go…I’m sorry but this is happening all at once and I’m not sure where my bearings are”.
“The two of you belong together, you’ve been friends for a long time. I’ll stay out of it, but we could still be friends”. I felt a small rush of guilt as she said this.
“What if I don’t want to be with Jackie? What if I like someone else? Someone fantastic and lovely, their name starts with L”.
“…Lucy someone?” Ling laughed a little, to which I joined in. “You don’t want to be with Jacky?”
I paused, closing my eyes and exhaling in frustration. “It’s…it’s not that I like her or not… I don’t know. I won’t lie to you, Jacky is special but so too are you".
“We don’t know each other that well”.
“Perhaps we could?”
“Perhaps we should”.
